2.0 Le BAT, 16 bis Blvd Montmartre in the 9th, 01.42.46.14.25, closed Sundays (Metro: Grands Boulevards): A Play in 4 Acts.
Prequel: Email message from trusted food source indicating that an old restaurant, much loved, Le BAT, had a new chef and meal was better than or equal to almost all my meals this year.
Setting: That same restaurant located between the Indiana and the Hard Rock Cafes.
Characters: Two aging dudes looking suspiciously like Vladimir and Estragon.
Act 1: Vladimir-type character enters stage left and orders a glass of white wine. Sits reading Le Figaro waiting for..... Godot? No, his old pal Ze Estragon. Peruses the carte and menu. Pal enters stage left; two exchange news of the day - Sarkozy, Hilliary, Trump, Hilliary, Zuckerberg, Hilliary, Pope, Hilliary. Much waving and raising of fingers to get wait-staff to take order. Wait-person takes order. Vlad clearly asks for meat to be done "blue". Answer - "That's the way the chef does it."
INTERMISSION (20 minutes) Behind scrim one sees Vladimir-type look at his watch every 2 minutes, Ze Estragon guy talks to himself but you see his lips moving - Macron, Hilliary, Trump, Hilliary, Pelosi, Hilliary, Bayrou, Hilliary.
Act 2: Much waving and raising of fingers to get wait-staff to get more wine. Firsts arrive; ancient tomatoes pretty good; warm grilled poulpe, not bad; grilled unripe, hard, cold avocado slices - huh? why? When one of the bums asks why? Wait-type says "For color."
INTERMISSION (30 minutes) Behind scrim one sees Vladimir-type look at his watch every 2 minutes, Ze Estragon guy talks silently but you see his lips moving - Cameron, Hilliary, Trump, Hilliary, LePen, Hilliary, Supreme Court, Hilliary.
Act 3: Much waving and raising of fingers to get wait-staff for more wine. Mains arrive. What the deuce are these? Wait-guy recoils - Estragon-type asks as only a Frenchman can "Is this what we really ordered?" Mackerel and over-done chicken nuggets? Mumbles "Totally disorganized!" Wait guy returns with same dishes "Yes it is." "Say, how long has that chef been here?" "Since Yaviv Berreby left in February, he was the sous-chef." "And Jerome?" "Oh, he left a year and a half ago." Thought balloon - "Well that explains it, or at least some of it." Actually, to their credit the tempured veggies were good and they weren't chicken nuggets but overcooked pieces of Tapilla iberico.