So, if you’re pretending you’re a food critic, how do you disguise yourself, presuming you want to?
Gael Greene of the New York Magazine, was famous for wigs, hats, etc. Francois Simon, of Figaro and Figaroscope, thinks he has never been recognized (although, the rumor mill has it that his picture was taken once at a food award ceremony and has been widely disseminated among Parisian kitchens.)
Sebastien Demorand when he was reviewing for Zurban, dressed and appeared so “normal” that no one guessed. Gilles Pudlowski, of his eponymous guides, says it doesn’t matter, he reserves under his name. Others, largely Anglophone, if Simon is to be trusted, want to be known and advertise themselves in advance to get free meals, drinks, aperitifs, etc.
Me, I used to just do a little summary of my eating experiences in France for my friends and friends of friends. So I figured I was unknown. Then, I began to write for the web with a real photo of me as my atavar or avatar, (I’ve never truly known whether it is an avatar, that is, “a handle or appearance used to represent (yourself)” or a Hindu avatar, that is, “an incarnation of a deity.”
In any case, faggetit.
Turns out, there’s this thing called Google and one can get the damndest things, including pictures of critics, on it. So, once I began to have chefs approach me after I wrote positive reviews about them (I don’t go back to awful places, well, that’s not totally true), I blurred my image.
But then, how do you make a reservation? For years, I’ve just called and because I speak (I’m being generous) French like a Spanish cow, I’ve said “this is Mister Talbott, like the car (Talbot) or the wine (Talbot FR or Talbott California/US). But then I found my critic friend(s) asking me to make reservations, so I thought, hummmm.
So I tried to come up with another catchy name that I could remember time after time (how do these CIA guys do it?) and would have the same car/wine type recognition, and indeed Morgan kind of works - right? I mean, Morgon is a great Beaujolais and Morgan, not a stretch, was a decent car from 1910 on, but what beats you is “caller ID.” Because I called to make a reservation today and was giving the day, time, number of covers etc. when the guy on the other end of the call said “yes, M. Talbott, John” - and that was the end of the disguise – forget “Morgon/Morgan.”
OK, so I did a survey. Do the big boys call from cell phones or phone booths or do they always get secretaries, executive assistants or dupes (like me) to reserve? Answer: they use a variety of easy to recall names: such as middle names, maiden names of wives, names of people at places they’ve worked at, etc. The trick is recalling which name you used for which reservation.
Recently, I republished a review from 2008 of Christophe in the 5th and got a very nice comment from philippe whose email revealed the fact that it was really from Christophe Philippe, the chef, who said "vous devriez revenir" to which I replied "Ah Christophe, then I wouldn't be anonymous anymore, would I? At least to you. I have heard others say they love Christophe though."
So after circulating this exchange among my fideles, two co-conspirators from Paris by Mouth said they really wanted to go back; so I charged one with making the rez in her name so I would not be recognized at least in advance thus getting us “special” treatment. And indeed I and we were not recognized until the guys from Severo and the Bis de Severo, eating at a nearby table, came over and introduced themselves, recognizing me from meals at beef center Paris.
This happened at a genuine Paris bistro:
Christophe
8 rue Descartes, 5th, (Metro: Mauberg Mutualite)
T:01.43.26.72.49
Closed Wednesdays and Thursdays
Formulas at 12, 16 and 19 € at lunch, a la carte 40-60 €.
Gael Greene of the New York Magazine, was famous for wigs, hats, etc. Francois Simon, of Figaro and Figaroscope, thinks he has never been recognized (although, the rumor mill has it that his picture was taken once at a food award ceremony and has been widely disseminated among Parisian kitchens.)
Sebastien Demorand when he was reviewing for Zurban, dressed and appeared so “normal” that no one guessed. Gilles Pudlowski, of his eponymous guides, says it doesn’t matter, he reserves under his name. Others, largely Anglophone, if Simon is to be trusted, want to be known and advertise themselves in advance to get free meals, drinks, aperitifs, etc.
Me, I used to just do a little summary of my eating experiences in France for my friends and friends of friends. So I figured I was unknown. Then, I began to write for the web with a real photo of me as my atavar or avatar, (I’ve never truly known whether it is an avatar, that is, “a handle or appearance used to represent (yourself)” or a Hindu avatar, that is, “an incarnation of a deity.”
In any case, faggetit.
Turns out, there’s this thing called Google and one can get the damndest things, including pictures of critics, on it. So, once I began to have chefs approach me after I wrote positive reviews about them (I don’t go back to awful places, well, that’s not totally true), I blurred my image.
But then, how do you make a reservation? For years, I’ve just called and because I speak (I’m being generous) French like a Spanish cow, I’ve said “this is Mister Talbott, like the car (Talbot) or the wine (Talbot FR or Talbott California/US). But then I found my critic friend(s) asking me to make reservations, so I thought, hummmm.
So I tried to come up with another catchy name that I could remember time after time (how do these CIA guys do it?) and would have the same car/wine type recognition, and indeed Morgan kind of works - right? I mean, Morgon is a great Beaujolais and Morgan, not a stretch, was a decent car from 1910 on, but what beats you is “caller ID.” Because I called to make a reservation today and was giving the day, time, number of covers etc. when the guy on the other end of the call said “yes, M. Talbott, John” - and that was the end of the disguise – forget “Morgon/Morgan.”
OK, so I did a survey. Do the big boys call from cell phones or phone booths or do they always get secretaries, executive assistants or dupes (like me) to reserve? Answer: they use a variety of easy to recall names: such as middle names, maiden names of wives, names of people at places they’ve worked at, etc. The trick is recalling which name you used for which reservation.
Recently, I republished a review from 2008 of Christophe in the 5th and got a very nice comment from philippe whose email revealed the fact that it was really from Christophe Philippe, the chef, who said "vous devriez revenir" to which I replied "Ah Christophe, then I wouldn't be anonymous anymore, would I? At least to you. I have heard others say they love Christophe though."
So after circulating this exchange among my fideles, two co-conspirators from Paris by Mouth said they really wanted to go back; so I charged one with making the rez in her name so I would not be recognized at least in advance thus getting us “special” treatment. And indeed I and we were not recognized until the guys from Severo and the Bis de Severo, eating at a nearby table, came over and introduced themselves, recognizing me from meals at beef center Paris.
This happened at a genuine Paris bistro:
Christophe
8 rue Descartes, 5th, (Metro: Mauberg Mutualite)
T:01.43.26.72.49
Closed Wednesdays and Thursdays
Formulas at 12, 16 and 19 € at lunch, a la carte 40-60 €.
Fairly, John, there are not too many people who look like deranged late 19th century English vegetarians and yoga enthusiasts. You're kind of easy to spot. In the best way, of course.
Posted by: Greg M | July 28, 2011 at 08:49 PM