John Talbott's Paris

Reviews of reviews: The week of April 23rd, 2012

Monday-Tuesday in A Nous Paris, Jerome Berger gave 3/5 dots to Les Jalles, coordinates given last week, which he called “un must, un “it’,” and Philippe Toinard gave the same marks to Le Siffleur de ballons, a “cave a manger et a boire” across the street from L’Ebouchoir, this at 34, rue de Citeaux in the 12, 01,58.51.14.04, closed Sundays and Mondays, with a 14 E lunch formula, a la carte 25 E, where he mentioned potatoes with fourme d’Ambert, various types of charcuterie, sardines and rice pudding.

Tuesday, in Le Fooding, Julie Sammut reviewed the Restaurant Marengo Bistroquet in Marseille.

On Wednesday, in Figaroscope, Emmanuel Rubin reviewed and gave three hearts to the aforementioned Beef Club as well as giving two hearts each to l’Ecailler du Pichet, 68, rue Pierre-Charron in the 8th,01.43.59.50.34, closed Saturday lunch and Sundays, running one 35-100 E depending on choice of bivalves or fish and L’Axuria, coordinates given before. One heart each went to L’Apibo, 31, rue Tiquetonne in the 2nd, 01.55.34.94.50, closed Sundays, with 18 & 26 E lunch menus, 32 E at dinner, for eggs, cod and a parfait as well as the Coutume Café, 46, rue de Babylone in the 7th, 01.45.51.50.47, closed Mondays costing 10-20 E for coffee shop food.

And in the Dossier this week, Colette Monsat, Alice Bosio, Hadrien Gonzales, Pauline Howard and Francois Simon wrote about hotel tea salons at the:
Hotel Daniel
Mandarin Oriental
Bauhinia
Plaza Athenee
Hotel Le Six
Hotel ScribeHotel Burgundy
Hotel de Vendome
Hotel des Academies +
Le Metropolitain.

However, Francois Simon steered clear of such places and instead went to Albion, coordinates given before, where he omits to answer his signature “Go?”

This week in l’Express Laure Pascal reviewed Le Paname, 14, rue de la Fontaine au Roi in the 11th, 01.77.15.96.81, which she describes as exotic, apparently for its DJ and mojitos (its website shows meals at dinner from 35-45 E and a capacity for private parties of up to 160 people.) Mathieu Perrichet reviewed El Barrio Latino, a Peruvian place in the 12th and Charles Patin O'Coohoon, reviewed La Cantine du Troquet Dupleix in the 15th, coordinates already supplied.

Saturday, Francois Simon wrote about La Petite Maison in Nice.

And Sunday in the JDD Aurelie Chaigneau’s Sunday address was Le Floreal, 73, rue du Faubourg-du-Temple in the 10th, 01.42.08.81.03, open 7/7 (5.5/10), serving everything from burgers and salads to ceviche and beef tartare; her discovery of the week was Sanukiya (7) in the 1st and her return to place was the Hotel Monceau Raffles, Paris (6) in the 8th. In their version femina magazine, Francois Lemarie reviewed the Pizza di Loretta and Chez Oro Bianco.

Stella Maris: 15 years later - "What's your rating?" "6. But I'm much harder on established "starred" places than striving locavore ones"; A backwards review.

Warning: This review is written backwards from my usual style since I was possessed by the Walcott Gibbs, circa 1936, devil; he's the guy who parodied Time Magazine's style saying "Backward ran sentences until reeled the mind...Where it all will end, knows God!"  [Walcott Gibbs 1936]

Go? I dunno, it's very pricy and the prix-qualite is not very good.

The bill: with a bottle of the absolute cheapo supremo (42 E, a Minevois), two lunch "menus", two coffees (8 E each for mediocre stuff) and no bottled water, our bill was 162 E.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Madame's desset was (I thought) a rather mundane but serviceable strawberry compote on a scoop of vanilla ice cream with kirsh jelly and I had an interesting and inventive dish that was called a pistachio flan with toasted pistachios and ice creaam and (when we inquired) a wonderful paper-thin leaf of sugar.  This was the highlight of the meal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

For mains, she had a terrific piece of skinless half-cooked salmon that I must say was one of the highlights in salmon eating and I had a ball of beef cheeks with a black sauce I thought would blow me out of the water - unnnnh unh.  The veggies were all OK, but so?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For starters she had the white asparagus with a mousseline sauce that was OK and I ordered the interesting sounding jellied shellfish with winter squash, urchin "tongues" and algae but there was none (the waiter had no clue of such on taking the order) so I settled for the banal, you could get-it-anywhere, microtomed scallops with a lime and mango sauce and some strange twisted Sister, no, maybe this was the famous urchin "tongues", tough and tasteless but intriguing-looking.

The meal started off auspiciously enough with an amuse-gueule of jellied beet with (could I have heard correctly?) Rocquefort sauce, no, but maybe yes.

The 52 E "menu" is impressive, lots of choices, interesting choices, but the wine prices were outasight.  Hey it's got a star, even though from my quick look at the chefs' name tags and visages none of them was Tateru Yoshino, which I learned later from web comments is not unusual at lunch or dinner.

This place is cool, really cool and I'm sure it's had a coat of paint, but it looks the same as when we four came in 1997 when it opened to great acclaim

Stella Maris in the 8th, at 4 rue Arsene Houssaye, 01.42.89.16.22, closed Saturday noon and Sunday, is a place "our gang" frequented after it opened, marvelling at the cooking, especially of fish, at reasonable prices, by its founding chef Tateru Yoshino. 

So when my wonderful ex-co-host from the website whose name will not be mentioned, read in A Nous Paris and Pudlo that Shimpei Oie had moved from it to the Bistro Volnay and the original four had a super meal at the B.V. a few weeks ago, said ex-co-host from the website whose name will not be mentioned, said to me "Let's go to Stella," and I thought "Yah, whoever is now cooking should be tested."  Unfortunately, she was refrring to the Brasserie Stella in the 16th, down the street but made the reservation at Stella Maris, so there/here we were.

Now does that answer all your questions and isn't it fun to read a review backwards.

"No," I hear you saying, "OK, it was just an experiment."

Nudes at the Monde Arab?: Yes indeed.

The Institute of the Monde Arab has a temporary exhibition of uncovered bodies, male and female, by artists in Arabic countries.  I went partly to see if it was true and I can certify that no hair is covered either on their bodies of the heads of patrons.

No real Wows; on til 15 July.

Le Brasserie de l'Isle/ile St. Louis: Founded in 1953 and stayed the course.

5.5 Le Brasserie de l'Isle/ile St. Louis, 55, quai de Bourbon in the 4th (Metro: Cite or Pont-Marie), 01.43.54.02.59, closed Wednesdays, is a place you've been been by time out of mind, remember, at the point of the Island facing Notre Dame, the place with thousands of fellow travelers around it and in it.  Sure you do, and so do I, from 1953, when it first opened and I first went by it, dewy-eyed and awe-struck.

So how did I and Paris' hottest chef find ourselves there on a blustery Sunday noon.  Well, (1) It was Sunday noon, (2) All my comrades-in-arms had been invited by their new P.R. folks so I knew something was "up" and (3) It was Sunday noon.  Now, I'm not sure I went in, in 1953 but I guarantee you, if I had, it would have looked exactly the same: checkered napkins, bustling waiters in black and whites and the noble front-room host in a suit and tie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The menu is classic 1953 brasserie stuff, except for no oysters; I won't repeat it, but it had all the Golden Oldies. So sit back and let the good times roll.  My eating partner had the leeks and I had the salad frisee with lardons, that I first had in 1953 I think for the first time at Aux Lyonnais - they were both just fine, but mine was Julot-sized and I gave up after 80%.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then he pulled back from the liver English style thinking it might have a dusting of flour which would put him in a very bad humor, indeed, and went with the entrecote while I went full blast with the cassoulet which was the equivalent of those at the old/original Auberge Pyrenees-Cevennes, which was also a Les Pinceau portion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For desserts; he had the Berthillon ices while I carried on with the classics; a millefeuille.

With a bottle of their fine wine of the month, two coffees and no bottled water, our bill was 104.80 E.

Go?  If you want classic stuff, midst all the French folk let out of their retirement homes and all the folks clutching dictionaries in many languages and don't mind "Turkish" toilets, by all means - it's fun, as good as 1953 gets and reasonable enough.

La Table d'Aki in the 7th: Great culinary finesse and most pleasant.

7.0 La Table d'Aki, 49, rue Vaneau in the 7th, 01.45.44.43.48, is a place set up by Akihiro Horikoshi, ex- of L'Ambrosie, where he is a one-man show; telephone-reserver, greeter, cook, waiter, sommelier, plongeur, addition-adder-upper, etc., for 16 covers. 

The place is cool, really cool, the front so minimalist that it takes X-ray vision to realize there's really a restaurant inside.  And, as the culinary tour and cooking expert of my co-dining couple said, the stark white interior is offset by purple highlights that matched my shirt, so we fit right in.

The carte is minimalist as well, one entree of the day, two mains and one dessert but a nice wine list starting at a comfortable 17 E a bottle, 5 E a glass.

The starter was an outstanding combo of St Pierre, white asparagus and a delicious citrusy/salty white sauce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Madame had the cod with a wonderful Hollandaise sauce while the two guys had what was called the chicken in his style, a sliced breast with the same sauce as was served with the first course; but we weren't complaining, all dishes and sauces and veggies were magnificent.

He and I then finished with the apple tart which was right up to the standard set by all the other dishes that came before.

The bill after the requisite three coffees, no bottled water but two bottles of wine was 185 E; thus about 130 E a couple. 

Go?  My goodness YES! 

Zero de Conduite in the 18th: the streak in the quartier stops here.

1.0 (and I'm being generous in awarding points for the welcome, decor and location), Zero de Conduite aka Restaurant0 de Conduite aka Rest 2DAY, 44, rue Joseph de Maistre in the 18th, 01.58.59.34.39, is where the former Sourdine and before that Le Cercle and before that - a place with Royal Air Force plates and polished Brit silver and good chow - was situated - but how does that have anything to do with today's meal, John?  It doesn't but i had to fill in some space since my report will be so sparce.

I got there a bit ahead of my multi-authoress (is that really a word?) buddy who'd listed this on her possibilities and I chose it over a sandwicherie.  The carte was astonishing - 3 courses for 14 E, 2 for 12 E and wines for 4 E a glass.  My heart sank; how can they do gambas and boeuf bourgignon for those prices unless they got the stuff from Metro?  Bingo!  I had a quick Chinon while awaiting Madame.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was smart and ordered scrambled eggs (whose egg carton was clearly visible on the shelf of the American/California kitchen and thus guaranteed to be fresh) while I had the giblets and smoked duck breast salad which was OK despite being drenched in faux Balsamico dressing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For mains, she was smart again and ordered the entrecote, which couldn't have been frozen/Metro or could it, while I was naive and ordered the sauteed gambas on a mound of pureed carrots - I'm not sure which was worse, the frozen soggy thawed out Metro gambas or the yucky carrots.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For dessert she ordered the tarte Tatin, which wasn't half-bad but I thought the chocolate mousse might be like that at Bouclard a few meters away - Wrong!

We had a bottle of Graves and a glass of Chinon, no bottled water, but 2 coffees and our bill was 59 E, a season's record if only the food weren't so dreadful.

Go?  Why not go to Metro yourself instead, defrost a few crappy dishes and force your friends to eat it all?  It's really too bad since I wanted to gloat about how all these new places (Sens Unique, Clocher de Montmartre, Lui....Insolite) were cropping up in MM.

PS Because we were behind a pillar of salt, we couldn't see either of the staff and they didn't look around it, so we were stuck with "poor service."

PPS For the curious, the name of the place - Zero de Conduite - is of course that of the famous film of the same name that was suppressed/repressed/banned for 10 years for reasons still not clear to me; when have adolescent schoolboys not rebelled against authority?

Youpi et Voila: No Yippee-ki-yay and no here there either, despite what the big boys and treasured girls say.

4.0 Youpi et Voila, 8, rue Vicq-d'Azir in the 10th, is a place that "swear to God and hope I die" was at the top of my famous "list"; raved about by the big boys and my trustworthy former co-host at a website whose name cannot be spoken, so it was a natural choice for a couple who admire her (that is, my trustworthy former co-host at a website whose name cannot be spoken) as I do.  I wandered by the place twice without seeing any identifactory markings but finally decided that like Joseph Smith said when arriving at Salt Lake City (according to one source) "This is the place."  ([Phew - talk about run-on sentences.)]

As the male part of my friendly host/couple said on perusing the carte "Well, we're not going to go broke here."  Indeed, 3 courses are 25 E, 2 = 20 and el cheapo wine is 20 E as well.  But, it's a moderately forced choice "menu," at least at lunch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three of us were going to order the white asparagus with a 65⁰ egg and piggy belly and Kalamata olives (sounds scrumptious no?) but I decided that was a silly waste of three tosses of the dice and went for the ceviche of black mullet with avocado cubes which was pretty good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then, Madame had the line-caught (ha!) hake and M. and I the pigeoneau with (the dreaded) polenta and a ginger (could'a fooled me) sauce.  The poor pigeon I had was tough, tasteless and overcooked, oh my; Madame's fish was not 1/2-bad, however; indeed they both loved their dishes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M. for dessert had the apple crumble and Mme and I the goat cheese with crushed early strawberries and crumbled speccullos (this year's "in" dessert ingredient which I always thought was spelled speculos but can be speculoos or whatever you want apparently.)  In any case, despite the pilpul, no big deal.

With two bottles of a fine (and cheap, because I thought I was sharing payment, although in fact, even if Bill Gates were treating me, I'd order it again) Gaillac, their own bottled/filtered water and two coffees and to celebrate St Marc's Day, three marcs-of-a-sort, the bill was 156 E; however, a couple could easily have a meal plus wine and coffees here for 75 E.  Disclosure: M. picked up the check, insisting that in September, when Colette returns, we'd share.

Go?  Ah, dear Reader, against the opinions of all the other rapporteurs and my co-diners today, I cannot in good conscience (and mine is in bad shape) recommend it.  Sorry.

Louloucam in the 10th: Nice folks, nice food, nicely-nicely.

5.0 Louloucam, 264, rue du Faubourg St-Martin in the 10th, 01.40.34.76.87, closed Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays was a natural choice; near my guest's French course, touted by L'Express's Anne-Laure Pham and chef'd by someone, one Jean-Matthieu Frédéric, who'd passed through the kitchens of the Meurice and the Tour d'Argent.

The 31 E 3-course "menu" looked great; lots of tasty choices.

 

 

My dining partner said she could never pass up foie gras and it was indeed delicious but my pigs' feet in a croustillant crust could have been passed under the hot lamp for a bit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then my new friend had the Bourbonnaise chicken with white sauce and I had (after ensuring it was a thick not thin slice) a piece of veal liver a la Lyonnaise; both were nice, but strangely again, both were lukewarm and came with nicely toasted thin slices of potato.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Both our desserts were nice - a poached pear covered in beurre sale and a caramelized banana - but again on the lukewarm side.

Our bill, with a bottle and two glasses of a nice and nicely priced Regnie, no bottled water but two coffees, was 96.40 E.

Go?  You're too young to have seen Stubby Kaye in Guys and Dolls, but he defined the term nice by responding to everything with a "Nicely-Nicely," which became his moniker.  That's my verdict on Louloucam - nice but ahhhhhh, nothing more.

La Table d'Eugene: "Our favorite restaurant in the area."

La Table d'Eugene (Sue) is a place that, along with Sens Unique, Lui....l'Insolite and the Cafe qui Parle has renewed my faith in my quartier.  Yesterday we were eating with folks who live nearby and they said it was their "favorite restaurant in the area" and I agree.

 

 

 

 

 

While there's a 19 E lunch formula and a 2-course "menu" for 30 E, we went for the 38 E 3-courser which,  of course, came with plenty of supplements (20 E in all).  BTW the carte cover itself is really cool & clever - take a look.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of us had the bacon [sic, according to the waitlady who lived several years in Park Slope] with deep friend artichoke and runny asparagus while the boys had bried langoustines with mango bits and greens - a fine start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M. had the 7-hour lamb and lamb chop with sweet potatoes and we had the canette Burgaud (a part of Challans) two ways, one confited, the other not with fried green bread crumbs that were incredible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M., on his way to the airport after over a month here, had his last great cheese platter, Mme. had the coffee mousse and ice cream and I had a chocolate bomb with hot and cold sauces - none of us complained.
With two bottles of wine to match the weather outside (mauvais), no bottled water and three coffees our bill was 209 E - however I must note that without the supplements and with a less pricy send-off present for my friends, a couple can walk out only 100 E lighter.

The Food blogger as concierge, Mr. Answer Man, punching bag and billboard.*

Concierge

“I cannot get through/am too lazy/don’t want to spend the money on the international telephone call, so would you call for me and reserve?”

“I arrive in the 6th at 11 PM and need a good, low-priced bistro where no one speaks English, that’s open late, within walking distance of my hotel.”

“So if I cannot get into Spring, Frenchie, Septime or (insert your favorite hotspot) where do I go if I’m looking for a good, low-priced bistro where no one speaks English, within walking distance of X Museum.”


Mr. Answer Man

“What are your top ten restaurants this year/ever?” [Have you read my categories?]

“Where do I go on Sundays?” [ditto]

“How far is it from my hotel to the restaurants in the Bois de Boulogne?” [Ah Mapquest is too hard to find?]

“Which is better, Restaurant X or Bistro Y?” [How many people did you ask?]

“My family wants to have the dégustation menu at Chez Blabla, but I don't eat seafood, and my wife is vegetarian except for chicken and egg whites, my boy eats only beef, my daughter eats only pasta. Do you think Chez Blabla would accommodate our issues and let us substitute this and that and that and that?

PS. A friend notes that after they’ve been answered/helped, their feedback, if any, is that “all the advice is ignored and on their own they found ‘divine little places, that serve the best French food in Paris’…..which were the type of places they wanted to avoid in the first place and generally have lackluster reputations.”


Punching bag [posted with an untraceable screen name but traceable IP]

“You’ll never print this but I think you’re nothing but a self-righteous, rich geezer with a big ego.”

“It's the height of pretention and poor taste to compare yourself and your lofty standards to the poor kids who write or blog to make a living; shame on you.”

“I disagree with everything you say, you blithering idiot. I’ll never go to anyplace you recommend.”


And finally – billboard.

“Buy cheap (enter your favorite) running shoes, watches, apparel.”

“You must try my favorite place [which I happen to own/be the chef at].”

“Write A+ term papers.”

*With a little help from my friends (Thanks esp. to V.B., N.L., M.P. + S.B.)