John Talbott's Paris

The Brasserie Lorraine in the 8th: spicy rock fish soup like they used to serve; the rest just “OK.”

The Brasserie Lorraine aka la Lorraine, 2 pl des Ternes, In the 8th, (Metro: Ternes) 01.56.21.22.03, open 7/7, was one of the last “independent” brasseries until it was acquired by the Freres Blanc (I remember it well because they stopped serving the fish soup a volonté and then had a Mckinsey-type ask me to fill out a survey; I told her the place was ruined. Subsequently like the old New Yorker  cartoon the little brasserie fish got eaten by bigger fish, etc., until there is is one whale-sized Flo-Blanc-Bertrand.) Q. So why was I here? A. Because acquirer of useless information that I am, I heard (from Elle and Air France Madame, really?) the place had been redesigned by one Laura Gonzalez and I decided it was time for a revisit. We entered and rather liked the renovation, especially the vases in back of the banquette.

All three of us ordered the rock fish soup, which while no longer endless, at least came with a large pitcher of extra soup not just a measly portion.  Then while Colette had the daurade on rice our friend recovering from pneumonia and I had quite nice fish and tartar sauce with quite nasty soggy undercooked or singly-cooked chips.

For desserts Colette had the Grand Marnier soufflé and we had the baba au rhum, OK but no more.

Our bill, with a bottle and glass of wine and three coffees, and very good bread, was 191€ or 127.32€ a couple.

We had to ask two times for the loud music to be turned down; we had to ask several times for the bill and our request for a 2nd bottle of wine took so long we chose not to accept it when it finally arrived.  Clearly the staff (all of whom were most pleasant) was stretched, maybe because of the 'unrest' on Saturday?  

Les Tourteaux in the 8th: A rare find in the 8th; Fresh fish, reasonable, fun.

7.2 Les Tourteaux, 86, rue de la Boetie in the 8th, 01.45.61.02.02, closed weekends (Metro: St Philippe du Roule) is 3 months old and today was almost full of locals who were enjoying themselves, unfortunately to an ear-breaking point (db’s = 86.8). But excepting that.......

The carte is different from most, as you’ll see, and the menu at lunch incredible (20€).

My friend chose to go with the “menu” and started with a perfect egg in a St Marcellin cheese sauce topped with greens and I went with a rare dish at least in the joints I frequent - crispy fried eperlans with a lovely aioli sauce, marked on the carte “to share, or not.”

Then he had the “menu” main, a piece of veal (in a seafood place?) with lovely potatoes while I had what was technically another first, piquillos stuffed with shredded crab meat (European not Chesapeake crabs). With a nice enough salad.  Delicious.

We ended up sharing the dessert of the decade, a palet Breton, which I’m not sure I’ve ever seen or had in my life; chocolate, cream, bits of cake - in brief superb!

Our bill, with a bottle and a glass of Chardonnay and 2 coffees, was 68.00€.

Go?  I’d heartily recommend it in this area that has so many thousands of restaurants, so many ordinary.  This is a breath of Breton fresh air.

Hippopotamus Ternes/Wagram in the 8th: “John, you’re not serious, why did you go? And is it true you walked out without paying?"

Why did I go?

1. I was misled like Humphrey Bogart's Rick who went to Casablanca for “the waters.”.
2. It’s nice to slum around.
3. I wanted to see where the Trumpians eat.
4. I read that ‘ippo ‘ as it’s pronounced here, is trying to upscale itself.
5. I needed a horse fix.
6. I wanted to see if my 1-10 rating scale really works?

If you answered any or all of the above you pass. Congratulations!

5.9 (7.0 meat, -1.1 Admin =) Hippopotamus Ternes/Wagram, 46, rue Wagram in the 8th, open 7/7, 01.46.22.13.96, (Metro: Ternes) is one of the fast food chain restos in Paris that I've made fun of for years as the worst of French cuisine.  But when I read that at their Ternes/Wagram location they were upscaling their offerings and had horse on the menu, I had to go.

A look at the carte told me the only horse meat was in a steak hache, not what I wanted, but on the table was an advert for steak a la poivre, which I did want.  

My dining partner took one look at the carte and said “not much for vegetarians here?”  “Yup” I said.  “Want to split a salad?”  “Nope.”  “Ok I’ll have the bbq ribs with haricots verts.”  Her ribs were picked to the bone with much discrete French-Swiss finesse and I finished all my steak, which for me was a first

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Then she had a fine cafe gourmand and I had what was called sabayon with apricots that was not sousvide, Metro or from the freezer.

The bill, John?  The bill?  I have no idea.  I have walked out of restaurants without paying four times in my life, once in Pamplona where I did run with the bulls and ate with Peter Fonda, to drop a name, when he was the intended victim of an old man’s dirty desire, once in Philadelphia when the kitchen blew up, once on the East Side when the husband and wife had an argument that closed down the kitchen and once in on the West Side after a bomb scare.  In this case, I hailed 5 waitfolks 5 times in 30 minutes and finally was told the computer etc., was en panne and after another 10 minutes I walked out.  If they want their money, since I’d made a reservation on line, they can find me. Db’s awful = 88.8

Go back?  It’s complicated.  The potato chips were great, the bread and fries blah, the wine and coffee good. Plus, the meat was surprisingly good, well sourced and beautifully cooked.  The desserts not bad at all.  Computers malfunction; so I cannot hold that against them much.  And despite my snobbism about chains, it wasn’t a bad meal at all.  A plus, a bus passed called Bustronomie came by.  Can’t beat that.

Jacopo in the 8th: nice food but why did they cheat us out of 8€? My original title was “not bad, not bad at all.”

Prequel: I read about Jacopo opening a few weeks back and having loved Thibaut Sombardier’s two previous restos, Mensae and Sellae, knew that even if he just “planned” the menu, it could be very good.  What I didn’t anticipate is having a “bait and switch” pulled on us.

6.7 but, Jacopo, 5, rue du Vernet in the 8th, no reservations “first come, first served”, (Metro: Georges V), open 7/7 was an obvious choice for today, open Sundays with an interesting menu designed by a great Top Chef. I was way early so I ordered a bottle of Pinot Noir, which while overchilled, was almost room temperature when my guests showed up.  However,

For firsts, my two friends ordered tartares of salmon which I saw them ask for salt for and then pour salt and pepper on to no avail.  I tried a bite - tasteless, good product but blah.  But I ignored that, after all, one dish off, so what?  Because my huge artichoke with vinaigrette was splendid.

Having gone through the bottle of Pinot Noir, we all agreed to have another.  A bottle arrived, opened, and was poured without anyone noticing it was not the same.  That's our fault, maybe.

Then the three of us all ordered the meats cooked on a spit: D’s entrecôte was fine and his frites pretty good, my three lamb chops were cooked almost blue as ordered but R’s quaisi de veau was “overcooked, dry and well done.”

For dessert we shared a baba, which was ok.

Our bill, ah our bill.  It arrived, D did the math, we all paid our fair share, but on the bus going home I looked at it more closely. Wow, the second bottle was 8€ more than the first.  In my field, Medicine, if one upcodes, the fines start at $10,000 an incident. Unfortunately in food service, you have to suck it up.

However, taking the cheating into account, a bill for a couple with a bottle of wine should be 107.66€ here.

Go?  Unfortunately, despite the pretty good products, uneven cooking and inept but nice service, the “bait and switch” left a bad taste in my mouth.  Db’s= 80.7

Monsieur in the Lancaster in the 8th: Beautiful women, suited men and good chow, so....

6.9 Monsieur restaurant in the Hotel Lancaster, 7, rue de Berri in the 8th, 01.40.76.40.76, closed weekends, (Metro: FDR) is named after Marlene Dietrich’s ummmm friend called Monsieur and the restaurant has gone though a lot of chefs and stars given and taken away and since New Year's has been changing its menu each month, proposing a different regional cuisine.  I came in a bit after my friend, having been blocked in traffic and was stunned by the decor, nappery, fellow diners and service.

The €39 2 course lunch menu was where we were headed and its inclusion of bottled water, superb butter and bread and coffee, made it terrifically appealing. My friend chose for firsts, the gnocchi stuffed with beets and I had the warm bits of mackerel, both of which were ok but not over the top.

 

 

 Then for mains, he had the sandre and I had 7 hour lamb/mutton, again both were ok.

We decided to skip dessert and just have coffees and mignardises of chocolate.

Our bill, with one of the cheapest wines on the carte, was €114? No noise.

Go?  At this point, I cannot think of trying to convince Colette to join me here.  It has superb service, is in a wonderful setting and has very decent food but it does lack soul, gotta say.

Le Mermoz in the 8th: Should one penalize a restaurant for its choice of offerings?

Pre: Le Mermoz has been getting rave reviews from everyone around and seemed like a great choice, (and as we were leaving the Telerama photog was setting up), but....

5.6 Le Mermoz, 16, rue Jean Mermoz in the 8th, 01.45.63.65.26, closed weekends (Metro: FDR) has a chef who trained at l’Astrance and Semilla and has gotten rave reviews - so what could possibly go wrong?  Well, first and first, as my Serbian friend used to say, the choices on the menu are not really mind-blowing: firsts of leeks, endives or chinchard and mains of lieu jaune, Chou and poitrine and desserts of cheese, lemon moelleux and something else fruity forgettable.  

My friend and I both chose what we thought were the most interesting possibilities, the leeks with egg yolk followed by the poitrine with carrots but were not willing to do dessert.  Both were honorable but not memorable.

Our bill, with a bottle and glass of wine and one coffee, was €86.

Go back?  There must be something I’m missing here, because I just don't get what the big boys and girls are excited about. Sorry.

Brute in the 8th: Well, this is complicated: great welcome, English, products, cooking but a bit too busy, I'll explain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6.5-7.? Le Bistro Brute, 36 rue de Berri in the 8th, 01.42.25.02.76, (Metro: St Philippe du Roule), has been on my famous "list" for a while and when a fellow blogger suggested it, I leapt.  It's smaller than the photos suggest, 20 covers upstairs, a dozen down.  The "menu" is 2-2-2 and right off we were warned that the scallops were not available, apparently due to pollution but the haddock and ham would be doubled in recompense.  Sounded cool to me.  After mulling over the choices we decided to have all 6 of the 2-2-2 and share 50-50.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After an amuse bouche of soup of butternut squash with a spicy aftertaste zip to it, we had the cucumber soup with chevre and pickled coriander seeds that my notes say was "bleh," and incredibly wonderful rounds of ham with haddock and cauliflower.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's where things went South.  The fish of the day was cod, but you've got to pep up this fish and the sauce, red cabbage, artichokes and carrots didn't do the trick.  The duck was a bit better, but tough as leather, although the mushrooms and salsify helped a bit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So now we get to the root of the problem: the "Jack be little" mini-pumpkin with grapefruit, kiwi and watercress ice was throwing away good ingredients to achieve what?  Complexity, Innovation, Creativity?  Didn't work.  But the chocolate (almost an ice cream bar), clementines and coffee ice cream was the hit of the meal.  Worth the chauffeur prive.

Our bill, with a bottle and glass of wine, good bread and terrific Ethiopian Wallaga coffees was 109 E.  dB's were a horrible 77.5.

Go?  Well, it's in the 8th, and the chefs and front staff are really trying, perhaps the chefs too much.  Id like to hear what others think before answering.  Maybe.

 

Le Bistrot de Marius in the 8th: Great total experience: inconsistent food.

Background: First off, I’d read that this old place had reopened under new management and chefdom, quite successfully, where the Petit Marius used to be.  Second, I’m asked a lot where to eat before and after concerts at the Theatre Champs-Elysees and I’m stumped. And third I was scheduled to eat with the blogger who invented for me the phrase “the total experience” in judging dining experiences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.0 Le Bistrot de Marius, 6, Avenue George V in the 8th, 01.40.70.11.76, open 7/7, (Metro: Alma Marceau).  I entered before my friends and was warmly greeted although I haven’t been here or at the adjoint, Marius & Jeanette, in a ton of years.  The fish rillettes with toast were really good so I got my hopes way up.  They have a 27€ two-course “menu” with 2-2-2 choices but my friends went a la carte.

To start my “total experience” friend had a poached egg concoction with some mushrooms within which was really quite weak and I had sautéed mushrooms with a single soft egg that tasted nasty, way too much woodiness.

For mains, the husband of the blogger had a superb piece of lieu jaune on top of some lovely fall vegetables, I had an almost as good fried lemon sole with a terrific crisp skin, but the “total experiencer” got screwed again with a weird ravioli of langoustines that tasted to me like curry, though it wasn’t.  None of us particularly likes mashed potatoes so while we tasted them, we aren’t inclined to judge them.

For dessert we all shared JJ’s baked apple on top of quinces and topped with raspberry sorbet.

Our bill with two bottles of wines from the Pays d’Oc, one white, one red, two coffees but no bottled water, was 160€ or 106€ a couple.  Sound a deafening 87.5 DB’s.  (Thats over the level where one should wear ear protection.)

Go? No, my friend is right, it is a “total experience”.

Le Camondo in the 8th: "It's the total experience, John!"

4.5 Le Camondo, 61bis, rue de Monceau in the 8th, 01.45.63.40.40, closed Sunday and Mondays, (Metro: Villiers, Monceau), is one of those places that all the food writers listed at the start of the summer, as great terrace places where one can eat in the heat of the summer.  A great friend and fellow blogger (although he insists I'm a critic not a blogger) wrangled an invitation today, and a good thing too, it was totally full of very upscale French folks, many in the 2017 fall uniform of a blue suit, blue shirt, with or without a blue tie.  The place is really spectacular, with a wonderful inside converted garage and outside garden with umbrellas shielding diners from sun or rain.

We started off, he with a dish of cool salmon with a cheesy fluff and me, with 3 crevettes, done tempura style with a nasty sauce (a problem is that the same dish done at the Bistro Cote Mer, was so good, almost no one can come up to its excellence).  However, the shaved zucchini nicely offset it.

Then my friend had the taziki of beef, which he loved but I found not much if a much, and I had braised beef, which I was disappointed in.  I realize I'm an old stuck-in-the-mud grouch, but why try to improve on beef braised simply with red wine?

Finally, he had an ordinary rice pudding and I some ok strawberries with fluffy Chantilly.

We exited having also been treated to pedestrian bread, a bottle of very fine Bordeaux, a half-bottle of Badoit and two coffees.

Go back?  I hate to bite the hand that feeds me and considering the "total experience" to have been lovely, I want them to succeed but it'll be a while before I retry it.  DB's = 85.1. But no smoking.

N3 (Napoleon III) in the 8th: three cheers for its "total experience."

Background: So, I have this longtime friend, co-blogger and co-diner, who titles himself Randy de Paris but also hails from Northern California.  He and I have a lighthearted running dispute over whether a restaurant should be judged only on its food, damned be the decor, welcome, napery, service, etc. (me) and he who judges places on all the above, an evaluation of the "total experience."

 

5.6 N3 (standing for Napoleon III), 132, boulevard Haussmann in the 8th, in the dazzling Villa Haussmann, 01.42.65.29.29, closed weekends (Metro: St Augustin).  When I approached it, it looked pretty swank, surrounding the corner of the sidewalk outside the hotel.  I was greeted warmly, even though they had no idea who I was, by waitguys who - hold your hats - had nametags.  Off the bat they served an amuse of breadsticks and cuisinart-ed eggplant that had just the right amount of spice to tingle the tongue.

The carte is fairly pricey, as required by an International hotel, but they had a "formule" for 35€ with fish on Fridays with all sorts of veggies, deserts and coffee.  So that's where I went.  The lieu jaune which everyone in Paris seems to be serving these days, was I thought, overcooked, the artichoke purée with basil ok, the girolles average but the roasted cherry tomatoes terrific.  For dessert I had their tart of the day, apricots, which was nice but worth 11€ I don't think so.

With no bottled water but a half bottle of wine, my bill for one at 47€, would be 94€ a couple.

Go?  It was a lovely experience and the girl-watching, I hope that's not sexist, to say, was wonderful.  Dear Buddha, in my next life, I want to be Bill Cunningham.